Thursday, January 17, 2013

Never underestimate how little people care!

I'm not saying that people won't help out if someone is having a problem. I'm saying that people aren't interested in the minutiae of other people's lives. Talk therapies, introspection and knowing yourself are all very popular these days so it's easy to think other people might share our own fascination with ourselves. If they did, Dale Carnegie wouldn't have made a fortune teaching people to fake interest!

It's only when people are in love that the minutiae of someone else's life suddenly becomes fascinating. We are told that God knows every hair on our heads. This interest in detail is used to show how much God loves us.

It can seem like our closest friends and family are interested, but this is usually an exchange of interest "you tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine." We might think that people are interested in their own children, but if I asked one of the boys "how was your day at school?" and I really did get a detailed recount of everything that happened I think I'd soon switch off! Some people are interested in every detail of celebrity lives, but as soon as that person is no longer a celebrity the interest is gone. So unless you happen to be a great story teller or lead a life other people envy, nobody really cares whether your shower was hot or cold this morning!

Believe it or not there is an upside to people not caring! If you have to speak in public or you arrive at the supermarket wearing your slippers, no one really cares about that either! If you post something on Facebook and no one Likes it, it's no biggy. Try something new and it doesn't work, not a problem. We no longer live in a Jane Austen world where there's nothing much to talk about but bonnets! It also means that when someone makes the effort to listen (or read our blog!) we really appreciate it and when we take the time to listen to other people we're offering them something special.

PS: The picture is from The Truman Show. The ending surprised me. Not because he walked a kind of stairway to heaven but because the viewers just found another channel to watch.


  1. Yes you are x offering something special x

  2. Well, thanks for appreciating a stranger occasionally reading the less heavy entries in your blog. While you are revealing the "moth" in MOTHer by being "attracted to the light", and many others are exploring the "far" in FAtheR, I am successfully exploring the "sin" in SINgle by "hiding in the shadows" (sounds like a good name for a blog, if I had one). I'm the guy who is going dotty, unable to join life's dots, hiding in the far corners of the church at Sunday Mass because I think the red lantern near the tabernacle means I am in a red light district. Let's see if we can get you and Mr Camino a few more readers. ChrisM.

    1. Hi Chris,

      I did a good job of putting the Sin into Single, now I'm trying not to MAR Marriage!

      Sometimes you can look back and join the dots but looking forward and trying to work out where they're going, don't even try! "One step enough for me" as Cardinal Newman said.


  3. Thanks for the tip on dots and the JH poem, Tonia. They might help to transform me from a MadMan into a NewMan. I hope so, ChrisM

  4. Very good. Linked.

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